Sheltered No More
by Starisha23
Summary: What if Mulan was actually born a sickly boy called Ping who is sick of being sheltered and being deemed useless by all his peers, when the army comes to pick willing men, ping offers to take his father's place but is scolded. He knows what he has to do to prove himself to all those who ever doubted him. PingxShang


**Sheltered No More**

 **Yo, yo I have seen a gap in the story market and have made it my duty to fill it. Yay! Ok so I have been searching for a Male!Mulan fan fiction ever since I recently re-watched both Mulan and Mulan II. A year or two back I entered the lgbt community, not as one myself but as an active supporter, now re-watching the movie sparked that side of me and I began to wonder if Li Shang had fallen for Mulan when she had acted as Ping and that is where this idea was born! Also i'm from England, London so there will be British spellings.**

 **In this story Mulan was born a sickly boy called Ping who is sick of being sheltered and deemed useless by all his peers, when the army comes to pick willing men, ping offers to take his father's place but is scolded. When night comes he sneaks off into the night to join and prove himself to all those who ever doubted him.**

 **Now without further ado, Enjoy!**

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 **Chapter one: Useless!**

Ping rushes out of the door, his mind set and at the same time cautious of his surrounding, there is a certain rush of somewhat pride at what he's doing that pushes his slim legs a little harder while still trying to keep himself balanced as to not spill the content of the cup he's grasping in his palms. He follows the path to his destinations safely dodging any rough terrain or prominent rocks, he can hear yipping come from behind him and a tiny giggle erupts from his heaving chest as the puppy arrives beside him whining slightly with his head bowed slightly. This makes the little boy frown and slow down to kneel and pat the dogs head in comfort showing him he's fine while balancing the cup in his other hand.

The sound of a hammer embedding nails into wood makes Ping look up and a wide giddy smile etch onto his feminine features. Not far off he can see his father wipe the sweat from his brow while he works hard refurbishing the shrine. He wants to be like his dad one day, strong and fearless able to provide for his family and bring honour. It's always been about honour he thinks, something he's never been able to bring his family, now he feels all he can bring is shame, he's never been able to get good grades at school from the amount of days he's missed, or even draw in the slightest pang of pride in his parents hearts on how strong he is, like all the other boys his age.

Looking down at the cup in his hand he watches his face in the sheer green liquid, watches as it still ripples, he's nothing special, his face is too slim with no defined jaw line, and not even the beginnings of stubble. Then there are the bags under his eyes and the paleness of his skin that make him look sickly. He could be mistaken for girl if his hair was one or two inches longer and somehow that makes him even more determined. Lifting himself off the ground he can hear his mother calling his name but ignores her in favour of reaching his father, he's not stupid he can hear the worry in his mother's tone but he also knows that going back will hurt his pride even knowing he's wrong in doing so.

Picking up his pace once more he reaches the shrine his face glowing with pride, it's been so long since he's been here maybe his father will even let him pray for strength to their ancestors and then let him help put with holding things.

"Father!" ping calls as he stands at the bottom of the stairs holding the cup of green tea in the air. His father places the hammer down cursing softly under his breath as he turns to see ping grinning at him.

"Ping what are you doing here, I thought the doctor said you couldn't leave the house for another two days." His father scolds sounding disappointed, Pings smile drops slightly but he doesn't let that falter him.

"Well the doctor also said you should have three cups of green tea a day for your bones." Trying but failing to pull a smile onto his father's face.

"My bones are perfectly-"

"But dad! The doctor said-!"

"Then you'd do best to follow your own advice. And don't you dare cut me off again I am your farther, you'd do good to remember that!"

"I know but I was just-" Ping tried making his way up the steps then stopping when his father speaks again.

"You were just nothing, now go back to your mother she's probably worried sick." His father looks away from him shaking his head, something that told Ping that this conversation was over. He can almost feel his ancestors looking down at him in disappointment. Feeling the tears sting his eyes he bowed his head placing the cup on the step in front of him.

"Yes father." He whispers and begins his journey back little brother whining next to him in a sign of comfort. Ping is grateful for it. When he reaches the door his mother and grandmother jump on him his mother placing two fingers under his chin to check his pulse, his grandmother placing her ear to his chest. They then rush him inside seating him down at the kitchen table his mother running off for his medication while his grandmother places a cool wet towel on his forehead. While all this happens no one says a word, they don't say a word to him knowing it would not sway his attitude or change his stance.

He feels nothing, he feels empty, like his life has been sucked out of him, like he is an empty egg shell so delicate that even the slightest touch would crack him. He doesn't like feeling this way, while tears fall from his dark eyes and coat his long lashes, while he stares out the window at a group of wrestling boys' wishing, praying that, that could be him rolling in the dirt.

When he was younger he used to watch them every day playing around flirting with girls, while he sat near the school on a bench hunched back with his legs brought to his chest hugging himself. The kids used to ask him to come play and sometimes when the teachers weren't watching he'd sneak off and play but after a while his breathing would become too laboured and sometimes he'd even passed out. The kids learned quickly after that he couldn't play with them that he would just hold them back and soon after that no one asked him to come play with them anymore.

The boys would just make fun of him by calling him a pansy girl while the girls would whisper in groups and look at him in pity as he looked off into the distance a void look on his face. Sometimes he couldn't even get out of bed to go to school his chest feeling like it was collapsing into itself. Some days he would be grateful for not being at school and others he was worried about what they would say behind his back when he wasn't there, not that they didn't do that when he was there too. That was 8 years ago though and they had grown out of petty insults now just resulting to forget about him completely and somehow that hurt even more.

After taking his medication he wipes his tears with his sleeve dismissing himself from the table throwing the damp cloth down onto the table. He can feel his mother and grandmothers eyes follow him walk up the stairs in pity. His father was right he shouldn't have left, he should have listened to the doctor's advice. He can feel that now his chest is heaving and he's finding it hard to breathe as he sobs into his pillow. His joints start to ache and he can't help but feel useless and weak. It's no different to any other day he knows this, he should be used to it by now but somehow it hurts just that bit more every day.

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When he wakes up next it's to the sound of distant drumming and the sound of horses ridding in, he can't remember the last time he had heard it or maybe he could! The last time he remembered the sound of drums where when the army had last come to collect warriors for the battle against the Jiāng clan. His father had been gone for almost a whole year when he was 13 returning with a few broken bones. But that was 5 years ago and his father's joints had been permanently damaged, he could only do a few select tasks like re painting or fixing floor boards in the shrine and at home. Looking out the window it looked to be about late noon, he had missed lunch, great.

He rushed downstairs feeling only slightly better than a few hours ago lungs still a bit wheezy and feeling light headed. What if they make his father go to war again he'll defiantly be killed or worse captured and tortured! He couldn't allow that, no matter how he detested his father's attitude towards him he couldn't let him go. Leaving out the front door he walked up the path towards the large doors that were opened to the main road he could see the backs of his father, mother and grandmother walking out and out to see what all the commotion was about. When he reached the doors his grandmother held out an arm to stop him from going any further shaking her head. Begrudgingly he did as he was told and watched from a distance.

"I bring a proclamation from the imperial city, the Hans have invaded china!" A scraggly man perched on a white horse reads out. Beside him were two what Ping guessed to be soldiers, everyone gasped in shock. "By order of the emperor, one man from every family must serve in the imperial army." The man continued, a hand flew over Ping's mouth in horror as he watched his father stand up straighter. He was not seriously considering this was he?

Family names where called out and many of the boys he had gone to school with stepped forward placing a hand on their fathers shoulder as they smiled proudly up at their sons. Would his father act that way if he decided to take his place? Maybe then he wouldn't be seen as useless. Maybe he could finally bring honour to his family instead of disgrace but most importantly save his father from his impending fate. He had to do this so when his family name was called he pushed past his Grandmother and mother as she watched him walk on with wide eyes that soon turned into a sad smile. Once he reached his father he stood straight with his chest puffed out to give the illusion he was bigger than he actually was which didn't do much. His father turned to him as he spoke.

"I'll take my father's place. He has already served his country." Ping said trying to hide his fear the best he could be keeping his voice steady and clear. He could hear chattering some of the other boys even laughed right at him and the man holding the scroll gave him an unimpressed look. He felt hands on his shoulders and he turned to see his grandmother looking at the ground his mother clutching his father's walking stick to her chest also looking down.

"Ping, you dishonour me." It cuts him deeply and he almost stagers back, he had always known his father was disappointed at him but it was the first time he had ever voiced it and it hurt ten times more than the looks or the shakes of his head. He looked around to see woman dragging their children back into their homes and men looking at him with amusement. He allowed himself to be dragged back home looking back in time to see his father reach up for the scroll. Looking away finding it all too much he shrugged his grandmother of and ran back throwing himself to his bed once more.

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He could read. He read very well in fact, it had always been his strong points in school reading and writing, as he wasn't really allowed out as a child he had developed a vivid imagination, it being his only way to escape all the walls that seemed to close into him as he curled up into a ball on his bed trying to regulate his breathing. His favourite genre would have to be romance, he had always dreamed of finding a pretty wife who spoke her mind and didn't always look at him in disappointment or pity someone who would love him for him. As the years went on however he found that the girls tended to gravitate to the tall, strong and beefy guys, all brawn no brain all of which he was not.

"Ping food is ready!" He heard mother call, he placed the ribbon on the page he was on and placed the book on his pillow making his way downstairs.

Dinner was an awkward affair no one spoke to each other, his mother and grandmother had matching expressions –Ones of sadness and loss- they both knew his father would not make it and it pained Ping to think that this was the last meal they would all share as a family. His mother would go into hiding like she did 5 years ago and his grandmother would not speak a word to anyone other than her luck cricket. Why his father wouldn't let him take his place, he was confused, it was obvious they wouldn't miss him as much as his father, it might even be a burden lifted off their shoulder. He knew his mother worried way too much for him and if he left she would no longer have to constantly worry. They would all be relieved.

"Father let me go instead!" Ping slammed his cup down standing up drawing all the attention to him.

"Ping." His mother warned looking up at him.

"It is an honour to fight for my country and protect my family." Ping heard his father say and turn his cold glare towards him

"But you could die!"

"I will die doing what is right and that is the end!" Ping looked around the table searching for someone to say something, when no one said anything he ran to his room and fell to the floor. He had to do something he just didn't know what. Just then he heard a knock at the door and his grandmother walked in holding her lucky cricket and sat on the edge of his bed. He lifted himself off the floor and watched her as she closed her eyes.

"Follow your heart tells you boy and your ancestors will guide you." She says wisely. Ping looks at her confused, follow his heart? "Here take the cricket, he's a lucky one you know." She said looking at him and grinning like she knew something he didn't this caused a smile to grow on his face. He reached out taking the cricket.

"Thankyou." He whispered looking down at the purple cricket that beamed up at him. He now knew what he had to do. He would no longer be sheltered and he would bring honour to his family even if it killed him.

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 **Umm now I'm so sorry if this is a bit rusty but I have not written creatively in almost a year I'll try and be a bit more descriptive in the next chapter when ping finally meets Shang. Ey, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Anyway thank you for reading and I would really love it if you left a comment no pressure anywhore please follow and like much appreciated.**

 **Also if you have any thoughts of what you would like to happen in later ch** **apters I would really love to hear your ideas thank you!**


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